


Eddy’s Latest and Greatest Scam (is not what you’d expect)

by pipercase



Category: Ed Edd n Eddy
Genre: M/M, Mutual Crushes, eddy loves his friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-27
Updated: 2018-05-10
Packaged: 2019-04-28 10:24:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14447280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pipercase/pseuds/pipercase
Summary: When Eddy finds out that Kevin and Double D like each other, he comes up with a plan to make it official.





	1. The Set-Up

**Author's Note:**

> let me know what you think, and whether or not my characterizations are off

Even when he wasn’t being malicious, Eddy couldn’t help but beam as though he were about to pull off the greatest scam of all time. Old habits died hard, and years of schemes and tricks had left him with a constant-and now trademark-Cheshire cat smile. 

As such, it sometimes made it hard for the other kids to trust him. This was true for Kevin in particular, who couldn’t help but be weary of all three Eds, even if they were all behaving perfectly nicely. 

The other two didn’t provoke nearly as much paranoia as Eddy though, and they never had. Ed was too stupid not to be completely, unconditionally sweet to everyone, and Double D was too smart not to realize that treating others with kindness was in his best interest.

Smart, actually, was really an understatement when it came to Double D. He was totally brilliant, if Kevin was being honest. He could construct a sentence worthy of Shakespeare off the top of his head, and engineer complicated machinery out of the simplest of objects.

If Kevin was being even more honest, he would say that he had a...soft spot for the smartest of the Ed boys. Not only was Double D smart, and not only was he nice; he was kind of becoming super cute, too. 

When in the hell had that happened, by the way? What had happened between junior high and sophomore year that caused Edd to turn from annoying-but-lovable dork into a genius with a pretty smile and a cute butt? Kevin always expected that he might be bisexual, but who knew Double freaking D would be his sexual awakening? 

Kevin groaned into his locker, hitting his head gently against the metal. This whole crush thing was driving him crazy, and now Eddy and company were walking down the hallway and straight toward him. 

“Hiya, Kev!” Eddy cried excitedly. 

“Hey yourself, dork.” Kevin said, suspicious but not yet angry. “Whaddya want now?”

He and Eddy were on good terms since the cul de sac’s infamous encounter with his brother but that didn’t mean that they’d stopped bickering, or that Kevin had stopped using his favorite word. 

“Geez, Kev!” Eddy said, gasping in feigned offense. “Can’t a guy say hi to his good pal in the hallway?” 

“Not when that guy is you, Eddy.” Double D said dryly, pushing past him and smiling at Kevin. 

Kevin returned his smile with one of his own, reaching up a hand to give him a high five. 

“Nice one, Double Dude.” He said as Edd reciprocated. 

“Yeah, yeah!” Eddy interrupted agitatedly. “Shouldn’t you and lumpy be getting to class, Double D?” 

With a sigh, Double D nodded and grabbed on to Ed’s sleeve. 

“An uncharacteristically sound point indeed, Eddy.” He said. “Ed and I are off to my most dreaded class-gym.” 

“Good luck with that, dude.” Kevin said with a salute, making Edd and Ed smile. 

“Gym class, Double D!” Ed hollered, dragging the boy in question down the hallway and ignoring his protests. 

Kevin watched them leave with fondness and Eddy grinned like the snake he was, looking up at Kevin. Confused. Kevin twisted his mouth to the side in an expression of pure suspicious. 

“What’s your angle here, Eddy?” He asked. “Are you gonna scam me out of my homework or something?” 

Eddy scoffed and waved a dismissive hand, as though the very idea was ridiculous. 

“My best friend is the smartest guy in school, Kevin! Why would I ever need your homework?!” 

Kevin rolled his eyes, leaning against his locker. 

“Get on with whatever this is, short stuff.” He said. “I’ve got places to be, you know.” 

“Right, Kevin.” Eddy drawled sarcastically. “Like you care about getting to Algebra on time.” 

Kevin couldn’t exactly argue with that, but he also wasn’t about to give Eddy the satisfaction of agreeing. 

“Just tell me what you want, dork!” He exclaimed. 

Eddy’s grin returned, and he clutched excitedly at one of Kevin’s shoulders. 

“It’s about Double D, Kev.”

He forced himself to look sorrowful. 

“He’s starting to worry me.” 

This caught Kevin’s attention. Worried? What was wrong with Double D? Was he sick? Hurt? Depressed? 

“Worry you?” He asked, voice laced with concerned. “Why is he worrying you?” 

“Well....” Eddy said, letting his voice trail off for dramatic effect. 

“Just tell me what’s wrong with Edd, dork!” Kevin said, his voice erupting in a yell. 

Eddy startled, nearly hitting his head against a locker and glaring at Kevin. 

“Cool your jets, Kev! Jesus! I’ll tell you exactly what’s going on if you just listen!” 

Kevin growled through bared teeth but nodded stiffly, waiting for the promised response. 

“Right. Okay.” Eddy said, apparently satisfied. “So, Double D: you know how he is, right? Total nerd.”

“You can’t fault him for actually caring, Eddy.” Kevin said, voice slightly accusatory. 

“No need to get so defensive, Kevin!” Eddy said, holding his hands up in surrender. 

“I love the guy, but we all know how he gets. With exams coming up, Double D is out of control! He’s driving us crazy with his stress, Kev!” 

Kevin stared at him blankly, unsure of what to say. None of this was surprising, but what did it have to do with him? 

“We think he might be in need of some relaxation, Kev.” Eddy continued, his smirk deepening. 

“I-so? How am I supposed to help you here?” Kevin asked, practically sputtering with confusion now. 

“Don’t you get it, Kev? Double D needs a boyfriend! Someone to cuddle, and kiss, and make sweet love to!” 

The words took Kevin completely off guard, and he was sure his eyes were now the size of saucers. Eddy just kept smiling up at him, looking incredibly pleased with himself for coming up with whatever brilliant plan he had in mind. 

“What?!” Kevin asked simply. “Dude, what in the hell are you talking about?”

Double D was gay? This was good news, obviously, but Kevin was too confused at the moment to react properly. And how did Eddy even know to come to him about this? Was his crush that embarrassingly obvious? 

“I know you like him, Kevin.” Eddy said. “And yes, it’s embarrassingly obvious.” 

Oh. Maybe he’d said some of that out loud. Whatever. It’s not like Eddy was gonna make fun of him for it anyway, as he was clearly in the middle of playing matchmaker. 

“Double D likes you too, Kevin. And I have the perfect plan to get you two crazy kids together!” 

Kevin’s heart skipped a beat. Double D had feelings for him? Holy shit! He tried not to let his hopes get too high—this was Eddy, after all, and that kid had always had a fondness for pranks. 

“You better not be lying about this.” He warned darkly. “Or I swear to God, Eddy, I’ll pummel you.” 

Eddy sobered immediately, shaking his head. 

“No way, dude.” He said, and his voice was as serious as Kevin had ever heard it. 

“This in Double D we’re talking about.” He continued. “Him and Ed mean more to me than anything else in the world, and I would never fuck with either of their feelings like that.” 

Kevin nodded, feeling almost guilty for his precious suspicions. The Eds really did protect and care for each other, and anyone who knew them would know that Eddy wouldn’t run the risk of hurting Double D. 

“Fine. Okay. What’s your plan?” 

Eddy lit up, practically jumping through the ceiling in his joy. It was the most excited Kevin had ever seen him for something not money related. 

“Does that mean you’ll do it? Really, Kev? Really?”

Kevin considered for a moment, flustered, but he’d really known his choice from the second Eddy had brought it up. 

“Yeah. I’ll do it. Just-explain later, okay? I don’t want to be any later to class than I already am.”

“No time for explaining, Kev! Just come to my house tonight at 8, and put on chapstick or something! Man, Double D is gonna love me for this!” 

With that he bounded in the opposite direction, leaving Kevin excited, curious, and terrified out of his mind.


	2. The Backstory

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to add a chapter of background just because I’m having fun writing it

Coming out to his two closest friends had never been something that worried Double D. Ed and Eddy had stuck by him through thick and thin, and he was certain that his announcement would change nothing. 

“I have something to tell you.” He said one evening as they sat in Eddy’s bedroom, lazing around and thinking up schemes to make money. 

“Something to tell us, Sockhead?” Eddy asked, sitting up a little straighter. 

“Yes, Eddy. Something to tell you. And it’s imperative that you listen, because this may very well change your perception of me permanently.”

That part really got Eddy’s attention. He jolted forward, getting his face closer to Double D’s. 

“Permanently?” He asked. “Geez, Double D. Didja kill someone?” 

“Double D is a murderer?” Ed asked, eyes wide with terror. 

With a nervous laugh, Edd shook his head. 

“No, not a murderer.” He said. “Something rather less offensive, actually. If you’re starting from murder, then my confession will pale in comparison.” 

“Just get on with it, Double D.” Eddy prompted. “I want to have some jawbreakers in my mouth by sunset.” 

Edd bit his lip nervously, resisting the urge to whimper. What if he was wrong about how his friends would react? What if they hated him? What if they left him all al-?

“Double D looks nervous.” Ed commented bluntly, inadvertently interrupting his friend’s train of thought. 

Double D smiled weakly at him, realizing for the first time that he was trembling. 

“That I am, Ed. Very. You see, my good friends, I am-and I have known this for some time now-a homosexual. When it comes to matters of romance, I prefer the company of men.” 

He actually flinched after that, as though preparing for a blow to the face. As it turns out, he needn’t have worried at all. 

“Oh, so you’re gay?” Eddy asked. “Cool. Less competition for the ladies’ attention.” 

“Gay Double D!” Ed said. “Rainbows are so pretty!” 

Edd blinked, in shock at having finally done the thing he’d been imagining for almost two years and at having his friends react so well. They reacted pretty much exactly as he’d expected actually, before the paranoia took over. 

“So this won’t be...” He paused, searching for the right words. “A problem? I mean, you still feel comfortable being my friends?” 

Eddy looked at him like he was an idiot, and Ed just kept on grinning that dumb grin of his. 

“Comfortable being friends with you?” Eddy asked incredulously. “What are you going on about, Sockhead? So you’re gay! So what? Can we go back to scheming now?” 

“I can’t wait to tell Sarah!” Ed said. 

“Oh I don’t think that would be a good idea, Ed!” Double D said hurriedly, waving his hands.

“Why not?” Eddy asked. “You ashamed of it or something? Cause...you know. You shouldn’t be.” 

He scratched the back of his head, clearly sheepish about being so sincere. Edd smiled appreciatively at him, feeling his heart swell. 

“It’s other people’s opinions I’m worried about, Eddy.” He said quietly, still smiling. 

“Other people’s opinions?” Eddy asked. “What about ‘em?” 

Double D sighed, trying to collect his thoughts enough to explain what made him so nervous about a public coming out. 

“As you know, both my stature and intellect have already made me a target for some of our less accepting peers. I’m afraid coming out of the proverbial closet may bring even more negative attention my way.”

Edd looked forlorn, and Eddy was furious even before the complete thought was out of his mouth. 

“Negative attention?” He demanded. “I’ll show them negative attention, D! Anyone who messes with you about something as stupid as this won’t come out of it alive! Right, Ed?” 

Ed nodded emphatically, throwing his arms around Edd. 

“Ed loves Double D!” He cried, ecstatic as always to express his affection. 

He held the significantly lighter boy in his own death grip version of a hug, shaking him until Double D looked ready to puke. 

“And I you, Ed.” He said fondly, giving his shoulder a gentle pat. “But not everyone shares your feelings on the matter, gentleman.” 

“Well those people are idiots!” Eddy assured him rather loudly. “You’re just the same old wimpy Sockhead you’ve always been.”

Though Eddy’s words may not have been the most refined, Double D was touched nonetheless. He felt his eyes swell up with tears as he looked at his two best friends.

“Oh, come on!” Eddy protested, his own eyes becoming slightly watery. “You don’t gotta be such a sap about it, Double D!” 

And so that had been that. The trio had continued on as normal, the only change being that Eddy started teasing Edd about boys instead of girls. Well...that and his new obsession with finding Double D a boyfriend. 

“That kid in our math class isn’t so bad huh, D? You could date him, right?” 

Double D only laughed good naturedly, shaking his head. He recognized this as Eddy’s misguided but well meaning attempt at being supportive, and he couldn’t fault him for it. 

“I really am perfectly content with remaining a bachelor for the time being, Eddy.” He said. “It gives me more time to focus on my studies.” 

“Focus on your studies? Come on! How much of a nerd can one person possibly be?” 

Double D laughed again and made some sarcastic comment that he knew would go over Eddy’s head and change the subject. It was what he continued to do each and every time Eddy brought up some new boy for him to chase after. 

He knew, though, that it was only a matter of time before Eddy recognized that he was deflecting. No other boys were of interest to him, simply because he’d already been crushing on one in particular for months. 

“Is no one good enough for you?” Eddy whined one day after his hundredth boyfriend suggestion was rejected. 

He was driving Ed and Double D home from school and, as usual, complaining nonstop. 

“I’m just trying to be a good friend here, Double D! Man, you’d think you already have the hots for someone or something!” 

Double D, ever the awkward one, froze up in the passenger seat with wide eyes. Gradually, his ears began to heat up. Eddy was too busy keeping his eyes on the road to notice, but luckily he had Ed there to help him out. 

“Double D is getting very red, Eddy!” He announces from the backseat. 

This only served to embarrass Edd further, and Eddy nearly swerved into the wrong lane in his eagerness to look at Double D. 

“Woah, check it out!” He said. “He sure is! You like someone!” 

Double D gripped tightly onto the backpack in his lap, hoping it would keep this conversation grounded. 

“Don’t be ridiculous, Eddy!” 

“If I guess, will you tell me?” 

“I’m not-!”

“Johnny?” 

An image of Johnny 2x4 and Plank came into his mind. Neither of them were really his type. 

“No, Eddy.” 

“Rolf?” 

Double D wrinkled his nose. Rolf? The guy was nice enough, but he was completely off his rocker most of the time. 

“Certainly not, E-“

“Kevin?” 

Double D’s face flooded with color, as he tried in vain to maintain a completely neutral expression. 

“Holy shit!” Eddy exclaimed gleefully. “Kevin?! Double D!” 

Panicked, Double D shook his head wildly back and forth and turned even redder. 

“I didn’t say that, Eddy!” He said. 

Eddy cackled, giving him a hard pat on the back. 

“The color of your face says it all! Man, Double D! Who knew you had a thing for being called a dork?” 

Edd covered his face in embarrassment, groaning. 

“Eddy, please! He hasn’t used moniker as more than a playful nickname in years!”

“Is Kevin gay?” Eddy asked excitedly. “Could you and him get together, Double D?! Can I be your best man?”

“That’s rushing things just a tad, don’t you think?” Double D said sarcastically. 

Eddy ignored him completely, charging forward with his own rambling. 

“I wouldn’t be too surprised if Kevin liked you back, now that you mention it.” He said. “I’ve had my suspicions about him for years—being gay, I mean. Bi, maybe.” 

Edd scoffed, fiddling distractedly with the edge of his hat. 

“That hardly matters, Eddy. Even if Kevin did have an interest in men, that wouldn’t mean that he had an interest in me. He is far out of my league, after all.” 

Eddy’s excited expression quickly shifted into one of annoyance. 

“Out of your league? Fuck off with that shit, boy genius. No one is out of your league, got it?” 

“DOUBLE D IS THE GREATEST!” Ed yelled, causing his friends to cringe at his volume level. 

“My thoughts exactly.” Eddy said as he turned a corner into their familiar Peach Creek neighborhood, pulling down their street and eventually into his own driveway. 

“I’ve gotta go do my stupid chores now, but conversation isn’t over yet.” He continued as he brought the car to a stop. 

“Mark my words, Double D: I’m gonna   
snag you your man.” 

Eddy spent the next three weeks making his feelings on the situation very clear, and working out the best way to make his plan come to fruition. 

He also made a point to start observing Kevin and Double D’s interactions more closely and, in hindsight, he should have picked up on Edd’s feelings a long time ago. 

“Hey dude.” Kevin would say every time the two crossed paths in the hall, flashing Double D a rare, gentle smile. 

Double D would turn pink, smiling back shyly. 

“Salutations, Kevin.” 

On one particular day Double D tripped over his two left feet and fell to the ground, causing the contents of his binder to spill all over the tile floor. Eddy chuckled, about to bend down to help, when he was interrupted. 

“Woah! Careful, Double Dork!” Kevin said, seeming to appear out of thin air. 

He knelt down, helping a bright red Double D gather his belongings. 

“I-thank you, Kevin. I appreciate the assistance.” Double D said. 

“No problem, dude. Are you okay? You didn’t hurt yourself, did you?” 

Behind them, Eddy’s eyes practically bulged out of his head. If Kevin was being this obvious, then Double D had to be really clueless not to think that their feelings were mutual. Kevin wasn’t this sweet to just anybody. 

“I believe I’ve come out of this incident unscathed, Kevin.” Double D said. “Thank you for your concern.” 

Kevin stood up and stuck out a hand, helping Edd off of the ground.

“Course. Have a good time in English, Double D.” 

As he ran off to class, Eddy gripped Double D by the shoulders and stared at him intently. 

“Are you kidding me?” He asked, voice as obnoxiously loud as ever. 

Worry immediately overwhelmed Double D’s face. His eyebrows furrowed, and the corners of his mouth turned down. 

“I’m sorry if my lack of coordination has inconvenienced you, Eddy.” He said sincerely. 

Eddy rolled his eyes, groaning. Sometimes Double D just did not get it. 

“Not that, Sockhead! I’ve gotten used to dealing with your clumsy ass! I’m talking about Kevin! He’s totally into you!” 

Double D gasped and hurriedly shushed him, his cheeks quickly turning crimson. 

“Eddy! Please keep your voice down! What makes you think that? His previous display of chivalry, I presume? You’re mistaking kindness for romantic interest, I’m afraid.” 

Eddy didn’t know what ‘chivalry’ meant, but he decided against asking. 

“He knows your schedule, Double D!” He said. “Man, now I really have to set you two up!” 

He hurried off in the opposite direction before Double D could stop him, laughing all the way. 

“Oh dear.” Edd muttered to himself, left alone. 

If he knew Eddy at all-and he did, very well-then this was going to end in either humiliation or disaster. And with Eddy this determined, absolutely nothing could stop him now.


	3. The Pay Off

“Are you quite sure that it isn’t too late for me to get out of this party?” Double D asked, sinking further into the cushions of Eddy’s couch. 

 

It was 7 o clock pm on a Friday night and, as promised, the Eds were preparing to host a party. The event was technically being held at Eddy’s house, sure, but if one Ed was throwing a party it meant that they all were. That was just how things worked.

 

“For the last time, Sockhead: I’m sure.” Eddy said emphatically.

 

Double D sighed, disappointed.

 

“Somehow I knew that would be your response, Eddy.”

 

“Did ya really think I wouldn’t take advantage of the folks being gone?”

 

“I’m not surprised that you’re hosting a get together, Eddy.” Double D explained. “I just don’t understand why I have to be here.”

 

“Because you’re an Ed, Double D. You can’t just not attend one of my parties! How would that look?”

 

“I don’t know, Eddy, but you are well aware of how much I loathe these events! The volume levels alone, well-these parties spike my anxiety levels like nothing else!”

 

“Ed will protect Double D!” Ed announced, pulling the aforementioned boy into a tight hug.

 

The embrace flooded Edd with comfort, and he felt some of his nervous energy melt away. There was an endless list of terrifying things in the world, but something about Ed always made him feel completely protected. When he finally pulled away from the hug, Double D smiled.

 

“Have I ever expressed my sincerest appreciation for you, Ed?” He asked, staring up at him.

 

Ed flashed a toothy grin.

 

“All the time, Double D!”

 

Edd nodded, still smiling. He did have a habit of getting overemotional, he supposed, but it was with good reason.

 

“Well I hope you won’t mind my doing so once more. Thank you, Ed. Never change.”

 

“Wasn’t planning on it, Double D!”

 

Eddy groaned, cutting off their conversation before it could continue and wrapping an arm around each of them.

 

“Cool it with this sappy stuff, guys! That’s no way to throw a party! And you are staying for the party, right? Double D?”

 

Edd considered for a moment, weighing the pros and cons of each decision in his head. Parties were loud, and raucous, and he had so much studying to do, but then again...Eddy had said he’d invited the whole culdesac, right?

 

“Kev is gonna be here, ya know!” Eddy said teasingly, as though reading his mind.

 

Double D turned away, embarrassed, and Ed gave him a firm, encouraging slap on the back.

 

“Kevin will be attending, will he?” Double D asked, doing his best to sound nonchalant.

 

He’d hoped that Kevin would come to the party from the beginning, but had been to shy to ask. He knew Eddy would only tease him.

 

“Of course he’s comin’, Double D! Kevin can’t say no to a good party!”

 

“He can’t say no to a _good_ party, Eddy. This is one of _your_ parties we’re talking about.”

 

“What is that supposed to mean?” Eddy demanded. “I throw great parties! Everyone knows that!”

 

“Do they, Eddy? I seem to recall your last party ended in police intervention and more than one pool of vomit on your living room floor.”

 

Eddy cringed at the memory. Admittedly, maybe allowing kids to bring alcohol wasn’t a good idea. The one and only time that he himself had indulged in alcohol had ended with him walking home from someone else’s party, panicked and nauseous, and using the Vincent’s extra house key to break into Double D’s bedroom.

 

Double D had cleaned him up, let him sleep in his bed, and put off scolding him until morning. Double D was motherly like that. And understanding. Eddy remembered that night now, feeling his heart swell with appreciation.

 

“So maybe you do have a point about my-our parties.”

 

Double D smirked, crossing his arms in satisfaction.

 

“I always have a point, Eddy.”

 

“Shut up, Sockhead.”

 

“I-“

 

“But listen, D: if you really do start to have one of your anxiety attacks or whatever, you can go hang out in my room. I’m gonna lock the door, but just come find me and I’ll-“

 

Edd spared him from having to go any further, knowing how vulnerable it made him feel to be sincere, and gave him an affectionate squeeze on the upper arm, smiling appreciatively. Eddy gave a sheepish smile of his own.

 

“Eddy is such a sweet little dickens!” Ed exclaimed. “He loves us so much, Double D!”

 

Eddy groaned, embarrassed, and Double D started giggling.

 

“Thank you for the offer, Eddy.” He said between bouts of laughter. “But I believe I’ll try to stick this one out.”

 

Eddy’s embarrassment subsided into amusement as his eyes lit up with a familiar glint of mischief.

 

“Because of Kevin, right? Right, Double D?Are you thinking you might get laid tonight, or what?”

 

Edd’s eyebrows seemed to shoot up under his hat in surprise at that, and the tips of his ears turned maroon. Ed cackled, covering his mouth with one hand, which only egged Eddy on further.

 

“Don’t be so vulgar, Eddy!” Double D said. “Dear lord!”

 

“You think that’s vulgar?” Eddy asked, still laughing. “I’ll show you vulgar! Imagine you and Kevin-“

 

Double D shrieked like a train whistle, slapping a hand over Eddy’s mouth to shut him up. Eddy stuck his tongue out in response, licking his palm and causing Double D to pull away with yet another shriek.

 

“Twelve years of friendship, and you never fail to disgust me.” He said, wiping his hands down with rubbing alcohol that he’d supplied seemingly out of nowhere.

 

“He’s not as disgusting as me!” Ed chimed cheerfully.

 

“Agreed.” Eddy said. “But anyway, back to Double D. What if-?”

 

“No, no!” Double D said, quickly cutting him off.

 

“I’m quite alright without any of your sexually graphic descriptions! And besides: if either of us is going to be participating in sexual activity tonight, it’ll be you.”

 

Eddy’s eyes widened, giving him a look of pure confusion.

 

“You invited that girl from your science class, didn’t you?” Double D teased with a smirk. “The one you’re always drooling over?”

 

Now it was Eddy’s turn to flush red, and he chuckled nervously in response.

 

“Who, Julie? You sayin’ I’ve got a crush on her or something? Nah, we’re just...friends. I mean, she’s cute and everything, but-“

 

“Eddy like likes her!” Ed said gleefully, unbothered by Eddy’s groans of embarrassment.

 

“I believe he does, Ed.” Double D said, satisfied with having paid Eddy back for his teasing.

 

“I-just-Ugh!” Eddy stammered, clearly flustered by the change in conversation. “Whatever! Let’s stop messing around, and get ready for the party!”

 

Ed and Double D both laughed, following Eddy into the kitchen. The hour went by rather quickly as the boys unpacked groceries and locked the door to Eddy’s parents’s bedroom. The first ring of the doorbell came at ten before eight, and Eddy rushed to usher in his party’s first guests.

 

“I hope this whole thing goes over well.” Double D mumbled, stepping into the living room and awaiting for the inevitable crowd to show up.

 

And show up they did. The house filled up quickly with not only the kids of the cul-de-sac, but many other Peach Creek High students as well. Sarah led Jimmy in by a hand, Rolf appeared babbling about something no one could understand, and Nazz and Kevin arrived after riding over on the latter’s newest bike.

 

Kevin hadn’t gotten the chance to tell Nazz about his earlier conversation with Eddy, but she knew all about his feelings for Edd. Currently, Kevin felt his stomach flip for the millionth time that day.

 

Soon enough he would be at the mercy of Eddy, which was a terrifying thought on its own. This was made more nerve wracking by the fact that Double D was involved.

 

He made a conscious effort not to speak to Edd right away when he showed up to the party, for fear of looking overeager. Instead he made his rounds around the room, striking up conversation with his classmates.

 

It wasn’t even fifteen minutes into the party when he began gravitating toward Nazz again, feeling antsy after making small talk with various acquaintances.

 

Kevin grinned at his former girlfriend and current best friend as he walked toward her, going in for a high five. She returned the gesture, and Kevin noticed that her lipstick was already a little smudged from sipping soda out of a can.

 

“Do happen to know anything about this plan of Eddy’s, Nazz?” He asked, bringing up the subject for the first time that night.

 

Nazz only giggled, slapping a hand over her mouth to conceal the sound.

 

“A plan? No way, dude! Eddy didn’t tell me anything about a plan.”

 

Kevin rolled his eyes at the obvious lie, but didn’t bother arguing with her. He’d find out soon enough anyway, he was sure. It’s not like Eddy was any good at keeping his mouth shut.

 

No, soon enough Eddy would saunter up proudly and reveal his grand idea. It would probably end in humiliation or physical pain, Kevin realized now, but maybe something good would come of it. God, why did he agree to this again? Why would he ever voluntarily place his fate in Eddy’s hands?

 

Before he could ask Nazz that very question, a blonde girl he vaguely recognized had appeared at her side and started a conversation about the cheerleading squad. Sigh. Curse Nazz for being so damn personable.

 

His gaze shifted across the dim room before landing on Double D, who was sitting in a kitchen chair and looking less than pleased to be there. He fidgeted awkwardly with the straw in his drink, staring into his glass like he wasn’t sure he could trust it.

 

Kevin couldn’t tell what exactly he was drinking, but he found himself wondering if it could be alcohol. Would Edd be the type to participate in such a thing? No, he decided. Edd would be far too paranoid about health risks, or about getting into trouble.

 

Just as the thought crossed Kevin’s mind, Double D lifted his head and met his eyes. Kevin’s heart skipped in pleasant surprise, and he gave the other boy what he hoped was a friendly smirk. On the other side of the room, Double D gave him a soft smile. Without even thinking about it, Kevin rose from the kitchen chair and made strides toward him.

 

“See ya around, babe.” He said to Nazz, obviously distracted.

 

“Have fun talking to your boyfriend!” She whispered teasingly before returning to her conversation.

 

Kevin rolled his eyes, ignoring her, and continued to approach the object of his affection.

 

“What’s up?” He asked when he was near enough, eliciting a nervous giggle from Edd.

 

“Oh hello, Kevin!” He said. “This party is rather loud, isn’t it?”

 

Kevin knit his eyebrows together in concern, knowing how anxious Double D could get in unfamiliar social situations. It made perfect sense that he might be uncomfortable in the midst of such a crowd.

 

“Loud, yeah.” Kevin agreed. “You okay?”

 

Seemingly taken aback by the question, Double D nodded.

 

“Oh-I’m fine! While I will admit that this isn’t quite my version of an ideal Friday evening, I’m happy to be here to support my best friend. Eddy, that is. And Ed, too, although I hardly think this is as important to him as it is to-“

 

“You want me to take you home, dork?”

 

If Double D hadn’t been flustered before, then he certainly was now.

 

“Take me-take me home?” He asked, sure he couldn’t have heard correctly.

 

“Sure thing, dude. It’s not a problem for me if you’re uncomfortable or something. I don’t think we’ll be missing much anyway.”

 

While Kevin was a little disappointed by idea of not seeing Eddy’s big plan pan out, he also didn’t enjoy seeing Double D look uneasy.

 

“Why thank you, Kevin!” Edd said, clearly touched. “But I’ll have to pass on your offer. I simply can’t abandon Eddy that way.”

 

Before Kevin could answer, Eddy himself ran up with a big, suspicious smile and wrapped an arm around Kevin’s waist.

 

“Hello boys!” He said excitedly, leaning into Kevin’s bubble of personal space.

 

“I certainly hope that you aren’t intoxicated, Eddy.” Double D said sternly.

 

“I’m not, D!” Eddy quickly assured him. “Promise! Just in a good mood, that’s all!”

 

Kevin was wary, taking a step back from him. Maybe Eddy wasn’t drunk, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t scheming something.

 

“Well I’m glad you’re having an enjoyable party experience.” Double D said with a kind smile.

 

“I am! But, uh, I was actually wondering if you two could do me a favor?”

 

Kevin braced himself for whatever would come next. Here it was, he told himself. The next moment would either make or break his romantic future with Double D.

 

“Would you guys mind going downstairs to get some more sodas? They’re in the cellar fridge, I think.”

 

Kevin felt himself wilt. Oh. So maybe it wasn’t yet time for Eddy to execute his scam. He was just running out of refreshments.

 

“I suppose we can do that.” Double D said, answering for the both of them.

 

“Oh, right. Yeah.” Kevin said, brought back to the present by the sound of Edd’s voice.

 

“Thank guys!” Eddy said, giving them both a clap on the shoulder. “I appreciate this!”

 

He dashed backboard off into the party, leaving Edd and Kevin behind and returning to the limelight. So fucking typical.

 

“Shall we begin our journey?” Double D asked with a somewhat amused smirk.

 

Kevin smiled back, gesturing for Edd to lead the way. They made their way through the party, weaving through half drunk high schoolers and more than one lazy make out session before arriving at the stairway to the basement.

 

“Maybe you should go first, Kevin.” Double D said nervously. “I must admit, I can’t stand the dark.”

 

Kevin nodded and shut the door behind him, stepping in front of Edd and taking his first few steps down the stairs. Though he wouldn’t have admitted it, the area was giving him some creepy vibes. It was pitch black and silent, save for the muffled party sounds coming from above.

 

Double D grabbed onto his wrist frantically, nearly prompting a startled gasp from Kevin.

 

“I apologize!” He whispered. “I fear I’ll fall if I don’t have something to hang onto, and Eddy’s father can’t be bothered to install a ramp!”

 

Kevin chuckled quietly, not as irritated as he would have been by someone else grabbing onto him in the dark.

 

“I’ve got you, dork.” He whispered. “Don’t worry.”

 

As they reached the bottom of the stairs he stepped off first and then turned around, sticking out a hand to guide Edd to the floor and ensuring that he wouldn’t trip.

 

“Thank you got your assistance, Kevin.” He said.

 

He moved away, leaving Kevin perplexed for a brief moment before the room lit up. Man, Double D must know this house like the back of his hand if he could find the basement light switch in the dark.

 

“This way to the fridge.” Edd said, stepping further into the now dimly lit room.

 

Kevin followed closely behind, careful not to step on any misplaced family heirlooms or old science projects. Double D swung open the fridge, peering inside.

 

“I don’t...see any carbonated beverages.” He said, suddenly unsure of why they’d really been sent downstairs.

 

He hoped it wasn’t part of a prank, but he also wouldn’t put the idea past Eddy. Maybe Ed would pop out from a box dressed as a swamp monster or something. He really hoped not.

 

“I guess Eddy was wrong about them being down here.” Kevin said casually.

 

“Right...” Double D agreed, still distracted by the possibility of an incoming practical joke. “Back upstairs it is.”

 

The boys began their trek back up the stairs, Double D holding onto Kevin’s sleeve the whole time, until they eventually reached the door. Kevin jiggled the doorknob, and was surprised to find it locked.

 

“Shit!” He muttered. “I don’t want to scare you, dude, but I think we’re locked in.”

 

“Locked?!” Edd asked, voice already thick with panic.

 

The darkness. The small space. Being alone being with Kevin. The situation was quickly closing in on him, and now he had no escape.

 

“Don’t worry.” Kevin said gently. “Everything is going to be okay. I promise.”

 

Edd inhaled a deep, cold breath of air and did his best to calm himself down. Kevin knocked ferociously on the door, trying to attract someone’s attention, but to no avail. Either the party was too loud, or people were purposely ignoring them.

 

“I’ll just have to call Eddy.” Double D said, pulling his phone out of the pocket of his shorts.

 

He opened his contacts, and Kevin noticed the Eddy’s contact picture was a picture of he and Double D as toddlers. Cute. Edd pressed on the phone icon and waited for Eddy to pick up, but it just kept on ringing.

 

“That’s awfully strange.” Double D said quietly, texting Eddy and informing him of their predicament.

 

Kevin frowned. He placed a call to Nazz, but got the same result. Quickly, he shot her text asking her to come open the door.

 

“Nazz isn’t answering either.” Kevin said, scratching the back of his neck. “I’m really sorry, Double D.”

 

Edd shook his head, waving off Kevin’s apology.

 

“Not your fault, Kevin! Though it is curious that neither Eddy nor Nazz is responding to our text messages. Do you think it possible that perhaps...?”

 

He let his thought trail off, hoping Kevin would pick up on what he was implying.

 

“Oh!” Kevin said when he realized, wrinkling his nose. “No way, dude! That kiss was just a one time thing!”

 

He was referring to freshman year, when Eddy and Nazz had attended the homecoming dance together and kissed on the dance floor. The date had only served to reaffirm their lack of chemistry and convince both parties that they were better off as friends.

 

“Very well.” Edd agreed. “I don’t believe Eddy even possesses romantic interest in her anymore, now that I think about.”

 

“And she doesn’t have the hots for him either!” Kevin said.

 

Double D chuckled.

 

“I must say, Nazz is so very beautiful. Even if I don’t have any interest in women, I-“

 

He inhaled sharply upon realizing what he’d just revealed. How could he have let that slip out? Panic gripped him as he gauged Kevin’s reaction.

 

“Oh.” Kevin said simply, feigning ignorance. “So you’re gay?”

 

Double D could feel his heart rate increase and his palms start to sweat, but he couldn’t lie. He wasn’t ashamed, and he refused to backtrack now that he’d told Kevin the truth.

 

“Well...yes. I am gay. I hope that doesn’t upset you.”

 

Kevin merely shrugged, a small smile appearing on his face.

 

“Not at all.” He said.

 

The relief that flooded Double D was palpable, and Kevin was similarly relieved to see that his acceptance and support had translated well. To Edd, the moment felt surreal.

 

His being gay was perhaps his second biggest secret (the first, of course being what lie under his hat), and in both cases Ed and Eddy were the only two people in the world who knew the truth. Their finding out about the hat thing had been incidental, but coming out to them had been one of the most purposeful things he’d ever done.

 

He chose to do it because he loved them, because he wanted to be honest, and because he knew they wouldn’t judge him. He hadn’t told anyone else because, for a long time, he didn’t feel ready. Now, though, looking at Kevin, he did feel ready. It felt good to be authentic.

 

“I-uh-have to be honest with you, Double D.” Kevin said after a moment, nervousness blooming in his stomach.

 

Edd frowned, confused.

 

“Go right ahead, Kevin.” He said.

 

Kevin couldn’t explain exactly what compelled him to be so honest with Edd, except that maybe it was a feeling of guilt. Eddy had revealed to him a very private thing about his best friend, and Double D deserved to know the full context surrounding his coming out.

 

“I already knew that you were gay, dude.” Kevin said. “Um...Eddy told me.”

 

The shock on Double D’s face said at all. He felt betrayed, understandably, and Kevin could see it on his face.

 

“He didn’t mean to hurt you, Edd!” He said hurriedly. “He was trying to help! He told me...he told me that you liked me.”

 

A million emotions rushed through Double D at once: anger, for Eddy having told a secret he’d sworn to keep; embarrassment, knowing that Kevin was now aware of how he felt; and, perhaps most prominently, hope. Hope, because Kevin did not look disgusted or infuriated. He looked happy.

 

“And that made you feel...?” Edd asked a little breathlessly.

 

Kevin grinned.

 

“It made me feel pretty damn good, Edd. A genius liking me? Who would’ve thought?”

 

Edd smiled back at him, his heart beginning to flutter with anticipation.

 

“Apparently so.” He said, his voice nearingwhisper volume. “Am I to take this to mean that....?”

 

Kevin leaned down silently, bringing their lips together gently and hoping that Double D wouldn’t pull away. He didn’t. Kevin’s lips were soft, he noted in his bliss. When they pulled away after a few seconds, it was all too soon.

 

“That I like you too? Yeah, I think that’s a fair assessment of the situation.”

 

Double D wasn’t able to conceal his joy, and he beamed unabashedly up at Kevin.

 

“That kiss was wonderful, Kevin.” He said. “But as a man of science, I do believe that multiple trials are in order.”

 

Kevin laughed and leaned again a second time, ready to comply with his wish when the sound of a slamming door startled them apart.

 

“Finally!” A voice said, breaking the boys from their reverie and nearly giving Double D a heart attack.

 

“Eddy?!” He demanded, calling into the darkness.

 

After shuffling down the stairs and rushing toward them, Eddy appeared, flanked by Ed and Nazz. Kevin simply stared blankly for a moment before it dawned on him, and he gasped.

 

“This was your big plan to set us up?!” He asked incredulously. “Locking us in your fucking basement?!”

 

Double D was visibly astonished, his mouth hanging open in surprise.

 

“Big plan to set us up?” He asked, speaking slowly and with emphasis.

 

Eddy shrugged, but he at least had the decency to look a little bit ashamed. Ed and Nazz just grinned.

 

“Eddy told me that he had...scheme to get us together.” Kevin explained. “Looking back, I don’t know why I would agree to this.”

 

“Hey!” Eddy yelled defensively. “It worked, didn’t it? You two were totally making out!”

 

Edd and Kevin paused, smiling shyly at each other.

 

“Awww!” Nazz said. “You two are so adorable!”

 

“My heart just grew three sizes!” Ed

added.

 

Eddy stepped forward, looking apologetic.

 

“I did this for you, D.”He said honestly. “I knew you guys liked each other, and I...just wanted you to be happy.”

 

Edd sighed, looking at his best friend. While Eddy’s techniques had lacked some degree of tact, but they really did have heartfelt meaning behind them. This was just another example of Eddy’s unorthodox upbringing getting in the way of his good intentions.

 

“Well, I’m not exactly thrilled that you went behind my back on this.” Double D said.

 

Eddy frowned, crestfallen, but watched as Edd intertwined his fingers with Kevin’s.

 

“But you did it because you wanted to help.” He continued. “And, as always, I’m proud of you for using your scams for good instead of evil.”

 

“Ed and I helped him, Double D.” Nazz said, seeming regretful. “It’s not all Eddy’s fault.”

 

“She’s right, babe.” Kevin told him. “Your dork friend just wanted to help.”

 

Double D turned bright red at the use of the pet name, and Kevin gave his hand an encouraging squeeze.

 

“V-very well.” Double D said, flustered. “I forgive you, Eddy.”

 

Eddy and Nazz each let out a cheer, high- fiving each other. Kevin rolled his eyes.

 

“Woo hoo!” Eddy said. “I did it! Once again the brilliant, talented Eddy has pulled off the scam of a lifetime! No autographs, please?”

 

Edd and Kevin sighed, shooting each other matching looks of exasperation.

 

“Don’t push it, dork.”

 

 

 

 


End file.
